The Importance of Being Earnest

I think this title is also a book title? Maybe? I've heard it before for sure. Regardless, it is also the title of my entry. Why is being earnest important? One, sincerity smooths the way for those helping you. Two, being earnest makes someone want to help you. Three, being sincere helps someone you are helping appreciate your efforts instead of being embarrassed or feeling condescended to. Finally, being earnest in your efforts will actually put you closer to your goal because you are really trying.

How do I know all these things? I started back to work this week as a speech-language pathologist. I can tell from the moment we hit the therapy room who really wants to improve. Earnest children have a look about them. They really want to please. They try so hard. Usually there is a measure of success over a short period of time. There is also the hallmark of the breakthrough grin when something goes right.

Now believe me, I've been fooled by some pretty smart kids. However, the kids who don't care, don't try, so they don't make gains in their goals. Some kids are never going to make great gains, but if they try hard, they may make gains in other areas outside their specific goals.

Minute progress counts. I may not see a specific language impairment improve, but I may see a compensatory strategy emerge. I may not always see a stutter decrease, but I may see tics and fidgets and groping behaviors diminish. When I finally hear a /k/ sound or an /r/ sound from a child after weeks of trial and error together, I feel like the sun is shining right on us. When I see a severely impaired child discover a sign, take a turn with a class partner, share blocks, or bring me his favorite book in an effort to initiate a request, I feel like the mountains moved. I didn't move the mountains, that child did. I don't provide the cure, but I earnestly provide the path.

And that's why I do what I do.

It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's A Fireman!

So, my one year old (yes, no longer, the baby, but my one year old) received one of those Little People Fire Truck Coups for his birthday. You know, the Fred Flinstone kind that a kid drives with his feet instead of pedaling? The funny thing about this new toy is that he can't quite get the hang of it. Currently he is enamored of the siren button and open/closing the car door. He can't quite manage to go forward, but thinks bracing his feet on the ground and pushing backwards is worthy of a hearty baby chuckle. Every time he achieves backward movement, he looks up and grins for approval. I had the best time watching him "drive". He turns and turns and turns the steering wheel while I say vroom vroom over and over again. I think we were entertained for almost thirty minutes. I don't feel so bad about buying a big hunk of plastic now that we are having so much fun with it. A month from now he'll be careening down the hill at top speed, squealing at the top of his lungs, racing after big brother. So for now, I'm going to enjoy the inch by inch backward roll that is "driving" the fire truck.

The Perfect Afternoon: Also Known as Mom's Mellow Midafternoon

I spent a glorious afternoon in the Hilton Head sun last week ALONE. Just me, the beach chair, the ocean waves, the sea gulls. Ted Koppel's book "Off Camera" was on my lap. A crumpled diet coke can and an empty bag of Chips Ahoy lay at my feet. There was a bottle of water on my left and a Bud heavy on my right. (Sigh) My husband was in the condo wrestling with two restless but very tired little boys. My in-laws were snoozing somewhere, by the pool I guess. I spent two lovely hours alone. Single. Solo. I did a little people watching. I read a couple of chapters. I drank my beer. I closed my eyes. I even sent up a prayer of thanks. Even now, writing about that afternoon sends me to a different place for a moment. I will draw on that moment of peace for a few more days until I have exhausted that memory's power to calm me. Perhaps I better be quick about finding another two hours of peace! Hope you find your own perfect afternoon--cheers!

The Bucket List

The Bucket List:
1. 5 dive sticks
2. 15 cars (We started with 5 and added 5 more each morning for 3 days)
3. 5 sand buckets
4. 7 shovels
5. 2 squishy water balls
6. a yellow John Deere backhoe
7. a green John Deere bulldozer
8. sand covered sun screen ("Is it the yellow, non burning kind mom?" It comes in a yellow container and it's for Kids. My son thinks "kids" means non-burning like the no more tears "kids" shampoo.)
9. a green soccer themed straw cup of water for big brother
10. a yellow straw cup with handles of water for little brother

The Bucket List provides about 2 hours worth of beach entertainment. Not bad. Every morning this bucket must be driven s-l-o-w-l-y out to the beach by its owner and carried up and down the steps by the owner and his mother (I am to carry only the front and ONLY at the stairs). Every afternoon the bucket and its contents must be washed out by my 4 year old, one item at a time. This cannot be hurried or rushed. Forget a water shortage or desire to conserve, this practice must be done to the letter or a hurricane of tears and shouts and stomps erupt.

I find this desire to "do it myself" and this unusual need for cleanliness of toys (but not personal body parts, his room, nor any other clean-up routine) refreshing. Hopefully these desires are a glimmer of personal responsibility in the distant future? Perhaps I'm projecting my own desire in there, but I'd like to think so.

Catch Up

Wow it's August 7th! Um, I'm not sure what happened to the "take time to blog every day" in July thought I had back in June. It's probably somewhere with the "stop yelling" resolution I made about 3 weeks ago. :-)
I haven't been blogging for several reasons. One, I discovered facebook and it's a time sucker! I'm reconnecting with so many people I used to know and so many new friends that I use up all my computer time. Two, I have two moving targets now who can't seem to play with each other without yelling, screaming, crying, pinching, or scratching. Actually the boys play very well together, it's just that Wyatt doesn't know how to do anything and when he attempts to "play" with Owen, Owen starts screaming "don't touch me! don't touch my stuff!" Ahh, the joys of three years difference. Third, I haven't had much to write about. I've been percolating some personal things in my mind that aren't share material, so that has left me rather dry in the writing department. Lastly, I sent off two or three emails with pictures to my friends instead of blogging about it. It happens. Too many mediums of information I suppose.
So, in order to rectify the situation, I am writing now.
Today I go to the two schools where I will be working at the beginning of the fall. I'm crossing my fingers that I'm ready for pediatrics again! It's been a while since I was at work. I start seeing kids on August 18th. Tuesday I had an inservice and a staff meeting with my new employer. I love the new team! It should be a great year. If I can just get the drop off and pick up coordinated with my kids. That's the biggest headache right now, finding a sitter. But it will happen if it's meant to be.
Today I go scope the premises and see what I need to bring with me. Luckily have two kids so I have an unlimited supply of bubbles, play dough, stickers, markers, cars, etc. I prefer not to use my own stuff, but in a pinch it will work if necessary. My company has great resources. Really amazing. I haven't seen this many closets of material since I left graduate school. Hooray.
Well, I need to go eat breakfast and find my paperwork.
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to Speech we go.....

New Resolutions--1/2 year celebration

So it's July, not January. Resolutions can be written at anytime I suppose. The way I see it, I have less time to screw up if I start a resolution in July as opposed to January. And since it's not the usual time to make resolutions, maybe I'll pay more attention?

Resolution #1: STOP YELLING. I know I made this resolution two Lents ago, but it didn't work out so well. I'm trying again. Funny how the Lord speaks. I have a sinus infection/allergy attack and have lost my full voice. Every time I go to yell, I get a tickle in my throat and I can't get anything to come out other than a hoarse whisper. So I've had to spend the last 3 days speaking in a regular tone--with meaning. Funny how much better the children are responding. So, note to self, STOP YELLING.

Resolution #2: ALLOW MY SON TO BE WHO HE IS AND NOT WHO I THINK HE SHOULD BE. Usually this type of thinking doesn't come up until you have a teenager? Well, my son and I are very much alike except in one area--he is extremely shy. Once he knows you, likes you, or is otherwise used to you, he has no problems talking to you or playing with you. Otherwise, forget it. He is very very shy. He doesn't do groups. He doesn't like big crowds. He is very slow to warm up to new things and activities. I, who have never met a stranger, cannot understand this behavior. However, I have resolved to change my thinking about my child. Instead of thinking, "what a wet blanket. what is his problem? why is he like this?" I'm going to think, "well, give it time. let it be. he will do it when he's ready." I will continue to offer and make him do some things, but if he doesn't jump right in, doesn't like it, refuses to participate, or otherwise hides, I am just going to accept it. This is hard for me. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it is difficult. However, my son's life isn't about my life, it's about his life. It's my job to help him find his way, not make him do it my way. I get so caught up in "what is good for him" type of thinking, I forget that there is more than one way to arrive.

So be it resolved. I will let it go. Whatever it is I feel like yelling about, whatever it is my son is reluctant about, I WILL LET IT GO. If it isn't going to matter tomorrow what is happening this instant, it isn't worth yelling about or forcing the issue over. Tomorrow is another day. God grant me serenity and all.

My 4 year old Golfer

Earlier this afternoon my husband and I were trying to rest during a downpour. Well, he was resting. I kept having to hop up and keep my son quiet while the baby was sleeping. After a book, a snack, two games with the flashcards, I Spy, and stamping on paper, I gave up and told him to bother his father instead of me. Confident that the rain will stop, my 4 year old kept waking his dad, "come on, I fought we were gonna play golf daddy." So away they went in the downpour to the golf course. Meanwhile I took the baby to the doctor to find out about the latest ear infection. We planned to meet at the pool later for swimming and dinner.
I arrive at the pool with my younger son. I get his supper ordered and sit down to wait for my golfers. My phone rings and it's my husband, "Can you see him? He's on his way down the steps. He wouldn't wait." Naturally. So I go over to meet my son to show him where we are sitting. The conversation goes something like this...
4 year old: "Hey mom. We just played 9."
Me: "Oh really? How was it?"
4: "It was great."
Me: "Good. Did you play well?"
4: "Oh yeah, I had a great time."
Me: "Super I'm glad you had a good time."

Enter dad. A conversational exchange between us for a few minutes about mundane details of the doctor's office visit. And then...

Wife: "So how did you play honey?"
What I thought the 4 year old said: "He said some bad words."
Husband: "What?"
Wife, simultaneously: "He did?"
4 year old: "Yeah dad, some bad ones."
Husband: "No I didn't."
Wife: "I bet."
Husband: "No really."
4 year old: "Dad you did some bad stuff."
Wife: "What did you do?"
Husband finally figuring it out: "Oh, I hit some bad shots. That's what you said. Yeah I did hit some bad shots today."
4 year old: "Yeah, some bad ones. But that's okay. You played pretty good."

Too funny. I still am not sure if it was bad words, bad shots, or both. But it was truly a comical exchange.